Tag Archives: pressure

Steps Toward The Trail

25 May

I simply love to walk and run. I used to run fast. Many years ago I raced track and actually had talent. I ran a very respectable 400m in 60 seconds at the ripe old age of 12. Unfortunately I also had a bit of anxiety. So every time the pressure would build and the race would be about to start I would be nauseous. The gun would blast and I would run my race and feel great for 60 whole seconds until crossing the finish line, usually in first. Then the nervousness would build as people gathered around to congratulate me and then… I would vomit. I had everyone fooled into believing I just ran “so hard” but really it was the attention. All of the people and the pressure had me so nervous and anxious that I would literally toss the banana that my coach had me eat prior to the race right back up and onto his shoes. By the time I had made it into high school I was actually found and recruited by the girls track coach on the first day! One of my middle school coaches had also transitioned to high school, and the pressure was on. Eventually, I said no. I used the excuse that I wanted to explore other extracurricular activities, but really I was already hating the attention. I simply wanted to blend in, not wanting time in any sort of spot light. I hated both school and attention, so I found a respectable group of misfits and explored the joys of late night coffee and all day music venues. These saw me successfully through my high school and college years.

Many years later I found myself missing running. Continue reading