I am married. I have lived with my husband for 13 years. I think we have a wonderful/healthy relationship. One thing I have learned from my marriage is that whenever we spend significant time apart there is always an adjustment period when we come back to living together. Taking this into account I decided to move to Tucson to live and train with Jen without my husband. We needed to iron out the kinks of what our day to day relationship will be before hitting the trail. Some people may differ in their opinions of this, but I will tell you right now that this was a wonderful idea.
Jen and I have had a few misunderstandings and it has been a luxury to be able to come back to the apartment and have separate rooms in which to be alone or to think things through. These are luxuries we will not have on the trail. Our time together is spent in some of the most uncomfortable situations. We eat together, train together, sometimes we work together. We need to learn how to deal with all of the unfortunate feelings and situations that arise when two people spend this much time together. We need to be able to deal with each others bad moods and know just what we can say before we cross the line. We need to be comfortable enough with each other to say “i just need silence right now” or “i am so sorry…but I can’t reach this tick”. Gross, maybe a little. True, definitely. Logging 25+ miles a day on the trail together will take its toll both mentally and physically. We as humans are not mind readers, so we need to be able to tell each other exactly what we need. We also need need to know that when we say what we are feeling that it will be received in the manner that it was meant without needing an in depth explanation. When you are physically exhausted and hungry you simply lack the ability to construct complicated and elegant thoughts.
I feel that Jen and I turned a corner approximately 3 weeks ago. We had a conversation with our coach and in that conversation we explained to her that she needed to start viewing us as a team. She needed to forget the concept of us as individuals and look at us as the same person. I can only imagine that it must be difficult from a coaching standpoint, but in all actuality we are only as strong as our combined weaknesses. We train together. If I have a bad day, Jen has a bad day. It is unfortunate but it is true. In the end, we will run this thing together. Step by step by step.
Our 13 mile run on Sunday had all of the makings for a really bad run. Continue reading
Thrutrailchicks 